Home Again Part Deux
by Kyouryoku Senshi
Summary: Post Home Again, continuation of the ending scene. Why did Scully think they treated William like trash?


Title: Home Again Part Deux

Author: Kyouryoku Senshi

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Home Again, Founder's Mutation, My Struggle..and IWTB if you haven't seen the rest of the series yet...but I am hoping you have. :)

Summary: A continuation of what happened before the credits went rolling.

"I want to believe...need to believe we didn't treat him like trash."

Mulder let Scully sob on his shoulder for what seemed like an eternity as they watched the calm ocean waters before them.

Scully sensed his silence and he finally realized he hasn't really said anything the entire time she talked about William. He knew she thought he never thought about William. She not so discreetly told him so when she asked if he ever thought about him. William had always been the elephant in the room. It was one of the reasons that drove them apart and till this day, he still tried to share in the guilt Scully carried. Whenever she would say things like "We had to make a difficult choice to give him up for adoption", it pained him and not because of the adoption itself. Part of him was actually angry she chose that wording since he didn't share in that decision, but he knew she felt she didn't have a choice when she was scared and alone without him. She had been the one to send him away as well...which made him angrier...but he had gone along with that choice. It would be cruel to bring those facts up now, when he knew she struggled and hurt because of that decision each and every day. So instead, he shared her pain with her and tried to be her rock. After her mother passed away, she really didn't have anyone else. Scully claimed to have left because of his depression, but maybe she was trying to hide her own as well.

"Why do you think you treated him like that, Scully? I mean, I saw you with our son, even if it was just for a few days. You tended to his every need with the utmost patience and held and doted on him as if nothing else in the world mattered. I know you, Scully and I know you were a good mother to him."

Scully wiped her tears away and managed a small, tear filled smile as she looked up at him. "It's just so hard for me to believe that I will never get all of those years back. We're both in our fifties now and I will never be able to raise a child."

Mulder knew in that statement she was thinking back to a time, shortly after helping the FBI on that Father Joe case, where Scully had found out she was pregnant again...but she had miscarried the baby just past the second trimester. It wasn't long after that that things had fallen apart for them. Scully was stricken with grief as a result of his quest and he carried the guilt of those consequences that were the result of his quest. He had taken her down with him. With the exception of her father's death, everything else that happened to her family was the result of his quest for the truth. He reached for her hand which rested on his leg and took it in her own. "I'm sorry, Scully, for everything. I wish there was something I could do, something I could say to take this all back, but I can't. I want you to know though, that I'm here now and I always will be...even if I have to wait for you."

Scully felt the tears coming again and looked away. "I know it seemed as if you were the reason I left Mulder, because of your endless need to find the darkness...that I couldn't handle your depression...but I still to this day wake up every day, with my own doubts. I'm not the same person you once met and the reality is that I cannot accept the choices that I've made either and there's no going back."

Mulder nodded. "I know, we're both different."

Scully looked out to the waters before them. "At first, I couldn't handle that my mom spoke her last words to you about William, our child...but after realizing it was because she wanted us to take responsibility about our choice, I've realized that she has forgiven me and wants us to know that he will be okay..." Scully turned back and managed a smile. "She hadn't seen you in nearly 15 years, Mulder. You must have been a sight for sore eyes."

Mulder managed a small chuckle. "Oh...well I hope I haven't let myself go that much. I know I'm a middle aged man now."

That rewarded him with a small laugh.

"Scully, there is something I've been wanting to tell you though."

That earned him another serious look.

"I've been driving without a license, Scully."

Her eyes went wide. "Seriously, Mulder?"

He shook his head and laughed.

"Danmit, Mulder."

"Sorry, no I did take care of that when we joined the bureau. But anyways...about what you said that time. When you asked me if I thought about William."

Scully watched him steadily as he continued.

"I wasn't entirely honest. In fact, I have dreams of him often...where we're setting off rockets together...but then the dream always ends the same, with my worst fear."

Scully saw tears in his eyes for the first time when he spoke of this subject. He looked away and she spoke when he couldn't continue. "Your sister."

She gasped when he only nodded and looked to the ground. He waited for Scully to speak. "I have dreams also...of taking him to school...but my dream ends with my own worst fear, especially now that I found out my own DNA has been altered."

Mulder looked towards her as she let out another sob. "He'll find us, Scully and he'll be okay. We have to believe that."

She nodded and turned her attention back to the turn at her side. Mulder sensed that she knew what she had to do. He let go of her hand as they both stood up and made their way to the water. Mulder kept his arm around her waist as she slowly opened the urn and tearfully disposed of it's contents into the air. He held onto her tightly as they watched the ashes float away into the distance. Scully's mother had known she would be okay. She had always said Dana was the strong one. Though she hadn't seen Mulder in such a long time, she knew she would be okay as long as Mulder was in her life and Mulder knew he always would be, even if they couldn't be together in every respect at this moment. Though they were separated, she was still legally his wife and for him that meant until death to they part.

End


End file.
